Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
