At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
