It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize