I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
