puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
