OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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