Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
