is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
