You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
