Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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