Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
