i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up under a house in Key West
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