We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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