What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So much Jack, so little girl.
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