I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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