So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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