So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
