I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
