your thong is hanging out like whoa
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
