erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
