she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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