I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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