saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Come share oat with me in your robe
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
