Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I believe in your delicious
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize