i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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