i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
