The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
