Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
