by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
