just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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