My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
