is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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