Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
