Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
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