she was so not down for the gang bang
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
