who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
