Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Sober January is a disaster.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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