Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
