**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
