Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
