put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
