Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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