Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
