smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
