I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
