hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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