u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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