Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
