He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
