I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
