I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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