He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
