I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
