he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
