He disabled his match.com account in front of me
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
