Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize