distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
