GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize