If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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